This is one of those deep venting posts so if your not into that (I'm usually not either) just skip this one.
Not sure how to phrase it, but I'm sure all of you have experienced it before, its that kinda of feeling of regret, not any type of regret, it's is the type that really sticks and you think about for the longest time.
You have that sick disgusting "what if" mind set stuck to you and no matter what you can't stop thinking about it.
For me, it's not about what would of happened if I had done the thing that I am regretting so much now, it doesn't matter if what would have happened would end in me being more frustrated than I am now or being in a much better situation. It is the fact that I didn't try that makes me so frustrated, not trying is worse than trying and failing, not trying is living with that regret and a life full of "what ifs".
I know that if I just tried and failed, I would be able to say, "I gave it a go, it didn't work out, I'm ok with that", but right now, I can't even say that, and that is just the worst.
So what does that do to you then?
What can you do then?
You just suck it up, and pretend that everything is ok?
Pretending that you aren't constantly bothered by this fact, and just live with this masquerade?
I guess that is all you can do.
I know that I'm going to come back to this post in the future and see how stupid this was, or how meaningless this would be, but right now, this is how I feel
