Deep end pt1

This is one of those deep venting posts so if your not into that (I'm usually not either) just skip this one.

Not sure how to phrase it, but I'm sure all of you have experienced it before, its that kinda of feeling of regret, not any type of regret, it's is the type that really sticks and you think about for the longest time.
You have that sick disgusting "what if" mind set stuck to you and no matter what you can't stop thinking about it.

For me, it's not about what would of happened if I had done the thing that I am regretting so much now, it doesn't matter if what would have happened would end in me being more frustrated than I am now or being in a much better situation. It is the fact that I didn't try that makes me so frustrated, not trying is worse than trying and failing, not trying  is living with that regret and a life full of "what ifs".

I know that if I just tried and failed, I would be able to say, "I gave it a go, it didn't work out, I'm ok with that", but right now, I can't even say that, and that is just the worst.

So what does that do to you then?
What can you do then?
You just suck it up, and pretend that everything is ok?
Pretending that you aren't constantly bothered by this fact, and just live with this masquerade?

I guess that is all you can do.

I know that I'm going to come back to this post in the future and see how stupid this was, or how meaningless this would be, but right now, this is how I feel

HEYO

It has been a while!
Been busy doing nothing during this holiday. Its not like there is not work to do, there is plenty of it, I just don't want to ahahahah.... im so fcked

So i felt it was a good time to do a blog post for randoms and future reference.

Just got back from my trip to NSW, Coff's Habour :D The beach's there have such soft sand and I caught up with some old family friends way back when I lived in New Zealand. Got to saw a family friend that is 9 years old this year. I was there when he was born and its been NINE WHOLE YEARS, YOU WOT :L makes me feel so old. Hes so cute as well, the whole time I was like



So I have done a few other things this holiday other than NSW. I went to watch movies with a friend, visited some friends and just played a stupid amount of League and a bit of dragon nest.

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET GOLD IN LEAGUE O___O"" !!
Won about 10 games in ranked and lost 2, only gained 40ish LP

THIS IS GONNA TAKE AGES
You can see my progress here
 http://www.lolking.net/summoner/oce/466681#history/26579723

I have also made a league guide but its so retarded because the website wont allow me to publish it, and its stuck in a draft for whatever reason sooo... that's a thing.

On a less serious note, I for whatever reason, decided to watch the Jaw's movies before I went swimming at the beach and then I was on constant high alert mode :L ........ UNTIL I FOUND THIS GIF 
Now I can't take it seriously

zzzz too tired now, should redo my sleep schedule

Fish

Stress gg no re

Dis week is gonna be hecktikkkkk

So basically this week is gonna have English WIT assignment, English IOC practise (TERM GRADE OnO'')
Business revision and Tok presentation.

So here i am procrastinating through a media such as a blog to try to calm myself, but i feel like there is just not enough time.  I even had to cancel my trip to supernova in hopes of finishing my t(werk).

THAT MEANS I CAN TAKE PHOTOS OF COSPLAY! ~sigh~ (missing out of cute cosplay, much disappoint)

And for the next 2 weeks I'm probably going to be  something like this 
SO PLZ FORGIVE ME BEFOREHAND

and in the final days before the business exam, if you try to talk to me, even basic conversation will result in




SOOOO better get back to it work ..... sigh very disappointing birthday, despite parents trying to do something today, im like NOOO FCK, WORK, and they are like probs secretly proud that im hard at work and dont wanna waste their time and money, but little do they know im just here blogging. 

The people around me who have finished their anti have all been like....

... while im just here still stressing as all my work and shit piles up in the corner and i just kinda push it even further away. 

WOW, MUCH rANT, SUCHHH AMAAAZeee

~layta

IT BEGINS!!111!! 

the degradation of my sanity as i try to do at least one blog post a week
There has been like heaps of blogs opening up recently and i thought i might as well.

Sooo feel like should do this introduction.

I have basically gone more than half of my Ib journey and I feel like documenting my mental condition as I slowly grow more sleep deprived and insane. Also be warned this is gonna be my outlet for rants and random bs that Im passionate or enraged about, like jos' butt HURHURHUR

So basically anticipated exam for business is coming up in about 2 weeks and I should be studying, instead I'm making a retarded blog about how i is funny chinese man (true fact). Also gonna put some funny shit I think it godly or edited photos and shit like dat.

Expect more stupid and silly stuff

SO I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS
~~~~
~~~~http://cocoafab.com/man-sues-wife-over-ugly-children/
~~~~

this is probably one of the dumbest things I have seen in a while, so enjoy
p.s. the link has lines in the shape of a pee pee hurhur .... fck im lame plz

Layta~